So, I ask myself this question everyday, 'What exactly is Life'? How do we define what our life is supposed to mean and what our life is supposed to lean into? Have all of you observed, that what we call life and the way we live it, is actually how everyone else leads it around us and that's how we define our definitions and that's how we fill our cup of tea.
Once in a blue moon do we find a a doctor's son doing event management, or a professor's son learning music, or a business man's son doing something! We live life how we manage to bring it into our brains. Like the doctor's son is growing in an environment where there is no value of time, more so, no value for family time, always place the importance of a set of procedures, and hence the son, ends up becoming a very successful man, very methodical, very practical and totally capable of taking his own decision, but it wont be his life that he's leading, it would just be a shadow that his parents have already drawn him, and he's just filling that shadow with his body.
Then again comes the professor, his life is methodical, boring, full of proofs and reasoning, and totally blinded to the finer aspects and beauties of life. The son grows up in a surrounding where knowledge is everything and the rest is just useless. These people become successful too, but they don't judge their success by counting how many days they have lived and enjoyed, but by how useful they have been to society and being an epitome of knowledge in their time and niche.
Then arrives the business man, laden with so much money and respect, he respects nothing, he does not know authority, and before family for him comes his success and money. The son too becomes like this, either a total douche of a human being, or a very powerful man with a heart of stone.
So, coming to the point, what is life? How should we live/ lead or lives? I'll give you a very nice example. As you all know I live in Dubai, and begging or asking any kind of alms here in public is an offense, that comes with a year in prison and after that you are deported. The person who's offering alms, is also put behind bars for a month. Everyone knows that here! But I saw this old lady, this was the time during the 'holy' month of Ramadan, she was lying on a by lane with a cup beside her, she was very obviously living there for quite a while now. Everyone walks right by her, everyone looks at her and turns a blind eye, thinking that its not their problem, and one fine gentleman calls the cops and informs them that there is an old lady here begging.
So enter the cops, they start helping the lady with whatever little luggage she has, and then they lead her towards their patrol car. One man who was standing and witnessing all of this, just walked towards the officers, and gave the lady a pocket full of money. The cops had to detain him too. When the cops asked the guy, why would you risk yourself and do such a thing when you know that you are gonna be put behind bars, and where did you get the money from?
The boy started his reply, "Sir, I am 22 now, I work in a nearby construction site, I have no family on this planet, and whatever I earn, I save and I have doing so for the past 5 years. I had finally decided to buy myself an education from the local university from my savings and I had withdrawn that much and some more for all the expenses. When I saw what was going on I realized two things, first that this lady was also like me and that she had no one to call her own, and I know how that feels; Secondly, I realized unlike me, she couldn't work and make her ends meet. So I had two choices, either turn a blind eye and be miserable for the rest of my life; or help her in someway and be miserable for a month but being peaceful for the rest of my life knowing that I have done something right and meaningful in this world."
For all those who didn't understand. The boy could have have just given the lady a few coins and they would land in the same situation as above, but the boy knew that when the lady was going to be extradited a year later, she would go back to her home country and still have the same fate as now ( a bylane and a cup to ask alms from), so he gave her all his money, and made sure that the lady was taken care of for a long time, by which atleast she could find some sort of solution to life till then.
That's how we should live too, enjoy and work, but not at the cost of others, and especially not at the cost of a needy person.
Hope this made you cry, or atleast emotional, because I know all my friends on Facebook are emotional, except you sharan! You Mofo!
Dedicated to Sharan and Vishvesh! Make a life, not a lie.
Yours Always,
Rohit A Banerjee
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Alcohol - Same brand different varieties!
As we all know by now, I was in India recently and had quite a blast there. 51 days straight of alcohol and good friends, a combination to kill for. That had to be my longest binge ever!
As we kept gulping one alcohol after another, we realized that the same alcohol from the same brewery had different tastes in different bars. To be a little clearer, try imagining 2 Cadbury bars of chocolate, from the manufacturing unit, from the same supplier, but they taste different as they have been bought from different shops. Very obviously, I'm referring to beer here, and we concluded that for any alcohol to take complete affect there should be to things that compliment and contradict at the same time; Good company and Good Ambience.
Good Company is like the morning dump of shit, when its smooth it feels like heaven and that nothing can ever beat that feeling. But when something's wrong, it will fuck you up bad, this is basically our fault for something that we ate last night or previously. Just like that, the people around you can really affect your alcohol, if the people are lively and noisy, the alcohol goes straight to the head and saves us a lot of money, but when its dull, all the world's alcohol will seem insufficient.
Good ambience, I still have trouble pronouncing ambience, bloody shitty french, why cant they keep their fucking words in their own language. This acts like room freshner in a stinky room, makes it so apt for understanding when put that way, isn't it.
Hence my peeps, dont go out with your friends, there are more chances that you get drunk and do stupid things. Sit at home and be a schmuck. But I love doing fucked up things, hence I always go out and dont give a fuck about what happens after that!
Cheers! Happy Drinking!!
As we kept gulping one alcohol after another, we realized that the same alcohol from the same brewery had different tastes in different bars. To be a little clearer, try imagining 2 Cadbury bars of chocolate, from the manufacturing unit, from the same supplier, but they taste different as they have been bought from different shops. Very obviously, I'm referring to beer here, and we concluded that for any alcohol to take complete affect there should be to things that compliment and contradict at the same time; Good company and Good Ambience.
Good Company is like the morning dump of shit, when its smooth it feels like heaven and that nothing can ever beat that feeling. But when something's wrong, it will fuck you up bad, this is basically our fault for something that we ate last night or previously. Just like that, the people around you can really affect your alcohol, if the people are lively and noisy, the alcohol goes straight to the head and saves us a lot of money, but when its dull, all the world's alcohol will seem insufficient.
Good ambience, I still have trouble pronouncing ambience, bloody shitty french, why cant they keep their fucking words in their own language. This acts like room freshner in a stinky room, makes it so apt for understanding when put that way, isn't it.
Hence my peeps, dont go out with your friends, there are more chances that you get drunk and do stupid things. Sit at home and be a schmuck. But I love doing fucked up things, hence I always go out and dont give a fuck about what happens after that!
Cheers! Happy Drinking!!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Transmigrating into the inner kingdom of Solace
I've been out of the loop a while, I traveled a lot actually, and it was a fucking exhilarating experience. I had fun in the end and now all that is over, I regret the end of what seemed to be eternal sunshine and everlasting bliss. The alcohol, the company, the pubs and bars, the talks and the inevitable quarrels, all a part and parcel of the deal, aint it?
What got me wondering is that when I was in such an atmosphere, that can only be described as blossoming of the inner feelings and the effervescence of the happy hormones, I had no idea what's sadness and what is conformity. Not clear is it? Let me explain.
I realized that only being an aesthetic and denouncing all of the worldly things and mannerisms does not get you inner peace, absolute Qi as it is called. But to the contrary, its the self realization that is required when our body and our brain are in complete sync of joyous and mature emotions, that is when we should try taking a look inside our self and wonder what is it that we want and what is it that we can make happen.
I was happy with my friends, my alcohol and my girlfriend, but seldom did they realize that as I was with them, I was also thinking to myself. Thinking if this is the life that I would like to lead, and since the answer was Yes, I asked myself how could I make that happen?
And the answer just struck me as I lay on the bed one night, after a night of extreme ecstasy and please, I realized that for this kind of life in the future, I will have to slog my ass off in the present and ensure myself that I have a good base to handle that kind of a life. And that forced me to go back to old job, my parents and the hot Dubai sun. It sucks, the feeling of being cared for from a 1000 miles away sucks, because everyone once in a while I would have loved that touch, that would make me feel important and loved. That voice that would make me feel ecstatic and that kiss that would literally cure me from all my present worries instantaneously. And yet I stay here, but this decision is logical and well thought, as it has come from the 'Inside'.
Mind you, you may get confused now, Inside here refers to my inner voice, some call it the soul, but as I felt it, it was my sync with inner peace, where my heart and brain gave me a collaborated answer. And hence it cannot be wrong. A lot of people hate me for leaving like that, including the girl that loves me the most; but none of them realize that, its only because I wanted to be with them in the future have I come back. So that the next time I come there, I dont have think about coming back to Dubai ever again.
I met my 'Soul' and believe me, he had all the answers for me. Try it sometime, it feels as orgasmic as a fall from a bridge with a bungee rope attached to your ankles...:)...
Cheers!
What got me wondering is that when I was in such an atmosphere, that can only be described as blossoming of the inner feelings and the effervescence of the happy hormones, I had no idea what's sadness and what is conformity. Not clear is it? Let me explain.
I realized that only being an aesthetic and denouncing all of the worldly things and mannerisms does not get you inner peace, absolute Qi as it is called. But to the contrary, its the self realization that is required when our body and our brain are in complete sync of joyous and mature emotions, that is when we should try taking a look inside our self and wonder what is it that we want and what is it that we can make happen.
I was happy with my friends, my alcohol and my girlfriend, but seldom did they realize that as I was with them, I was also thinking to myself. Thinking if this is the life that I would like to lead, and since the answer was Yes, I asked myself how could I make that happen?
And the answer just struck me as I lay on the bed one night, after a night of extreme ecstasy and please, I realized that for this kind of life in the future, I will have to slog my ass off in the present and ensure myself that I have a good base to handle that kind of a life. And that forced me to go back to old job, my parents and the hot Dubai sun. It sucks, the feeling of being cared for from a 1000 miles away sucks, because everyone once in a while I would have loved that touch, that would make me feel important and loved. That voice that would make me feel ecstatic and that kiss that would literally cure me from all my present worries instantaneously. And yet I stay here, but this decision is logical and well thought, as it has come from the 'Inside'.
Mind you, you may get confused now, Inside here refers to my inner voice, some call it the soul, but as I felt it, it was my sync with inner peace, where my heart and brain gave me a collaborated answer. And hence it cannot be wrong. A lot of people hate me for leaving like that, including the girl that loves me the most; but none of them realize that, its only because I wanted to be with them in the future have I come back. So that the next time I come there, I dont have think about coming back to Dubai ever again.
I met my 'Soul' and believe me, he had all the answers for me. Try it sometime, it feels as orgasmic as a fall from a bridge with a bungee rope attached to your ankles...:)...
Cheers!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Abundance of Reason
Reason. The term with varying meanings. This term is used by sensible people to do sensible things, and the absence of reason is used by bullies and assholes to do their kinda things. Ok! I have no idea where that came from, but I guess queerness is back! Hell Yeah!
So what is reason? Reason by definition is....reason. I have no idea how to define that word. What do you think I am? Wikipedia? Fuck you!
But all I can do is prove that out to you. A reason is something that a lover needs to console himself when he hasn't spoken to his counterpart for a long time and now he's getting weird thoughts. A reason is something that a single mother lives by, doing two 8 hour shifts to sustain her family, and still having time to take her children to school and play with them. Reason is something that keeps the terminally ill, still attached to this world. A reason is something that converts a hardcore religious man into an atheist. A reason is something that a government gives to the people to extort money from them. Basically everything is reason.
There is nothing in this world that does not have an ulterior motive. Now the religious readers may argue that I am wrong, and that God requires no reason. So tell me, why is it that your God tells you to come to church every sunday, or offer prayers to him 5 times a day, wear a turban on your head or want you to live a life of penance? So everything that happens around us has a motive, a principle, that is how the wheel turns. We cannot argue or reason with something that we don't control.
We give alms to the needy, not because we think that he needs it more than us, but thinking that if we give him alms, he will offer us blessings and our life will miraculously come back on track! In colloquial terms, we all have a politician inside us waiting to creep out.
We can never be selfless or do things without thinking of some good in it for us. There are certain exceptions to this, like an act of bravery or a mother sacrificing her meal so that her children can sleep with full stomachs.
If we cant be real, atleast let us not be assholes eh? Stop sucking the brain out of the employees! Stop torturing innocent children with ancient knowledge in school! Stop torturing us with 'Karela' ka sabji every week! Stop! Stop!! Stop!!!
So what is reason? Reason by definition is....reason. I have no idea how to define that word. What do you think I am? Wikipedia? Fuck you!
But all I can do is prove that out to you. A reason is something that a lover needs to console himself when he hasn't spoken to his counterpart for a long time and now he's getting weird thoughts. A reason is something that a single mother lives by, doing two 8 hour shifts to sustain her family, and still having time to take her children to school and play with them. Reason is something that keeps the terminally ill, still attached to this world. A reason is something that converts a hardcore religious man into an atheist. A reason is something that a government gives to the people to extort money from them. Basically everything is reason.
There is nothing in this world that does not have an ulterior motive. Now the religious readers may argue that I am wrong, and that God requires no reason. So tell me, why is it that your God tells you to come to church every sunday, or offer prayers to him 5 times a day, wear a turban on your head or want you to live a life of penance? So everything that happens around us has a motive, a principle, that is how the wheel turns. We cannot argue or reason with something that we don't control.
We give alms to the needy, not because we think that he needs it more than us, but thinking that if we give him alms, he will offer us blessings and our life will miraculously come back on track! In colloquial terms, we all have a politician inside us waiting to creep out.
We can never be selfless or do things without thinking of some good in it for us. There are certain exceptions to this, like an act of bravery or a mother sacrificing her meal so that her children can sleep with full stomachs.
If we cant be real, atleast let us not be assholes eh? Stop sucking the brain out of the employees! Stop torturing innocent children with ancient knowledge in school! Stop torturing us with 'Karela' ka sabji every week! Stop! Stop!! Stop!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Solitary Weeper
Ok that last post was a total bust! I did not want to be that straight forward and serious, but I don't know what has happened to my sense of humor of-late. I think life as a 9 to 5 robot fucking sucks! ( Especially when working hours in this country is 8 to 6 :|) It slowly and steadily shoves your own ass into your head and makes you incapable of reasoning and incapable of mature emotions. Very thankfully I have my girl helping me out through this period, and she rocks!
I have always told my friends, don't judge your friends by how many people pay for your alcohol or drug money, but see how many people come to wipe your tears ( yes am referring to you bapu! ). Well I say a lot of things, but preaching and practicing are two ends of the spectrum, aren't they? Fuck this Shit!
This period of gloom when no matter what happens around you, no matter how much fun people are having around you, it always keeps that vacuum. This is the exact vacuum that makes me wanna hit someone, or abuse the shit outta someone, but I have realized that this mentality has made me more enemies than I could handle. I hate this, it feels like someone has stabbed me with a curved sword, and then very efficiently turned the sword on its horizontal axis, and my insides have spilled on to the ground below! :|
hmmm, Ground reminds me, 'Yo Mamma is so dumb, she threw a stone at the ground; and Missed!' :P :D ...I just love this one. I hate my body, and I'm to lazy to work to have god like physique. ohh...that reminds me, 'Yo mamma's hair is so curvy, that it is un-beweavable!" hahaha! :D :)
Ok! That was shit! But when the whole world keeps pushing you and makes you, forces you to become something or someone that you had always wanted not to become, it just sucks out all the juices out of you. Some cry and some get depressed. But when someone pushes me to hard, I just stand up, look back and shout, "Kaun madarhcod ne dhakka diya!" :-)
Get over it people, like Bob Marley said it very wonderfully, "In the end everyone's gonna make you cry, but who we wish to cry for, is totally upto us"
Ciao!
Assholes called Friends
I hate my friends, but then I hate everybody but me. Yes am a narcissistic guy! But I cant help it. The underlying meaning being, I hate everybody, but what the society call friends, I hate them quite less than what I would hate a normal person. There is truly one person I love in this world, and yeah she knows about it :)
But I can help it writing about my experiences of friends and friendship through out my life. In school I was never the 'cool' one, I was rather the mischievous spoilt brat, and I totally loved the attention I got. But that led to many problems. I never had a fixed circle of friends, who I would be loyal to and do the other gay shit that boys at the age of 14 do. I preferred doing all that with everyone not just a few select people. And so a lot of times, I see now what have I left behind. That attitude obviously made me famous and etched in everyones mind, but no one cares about me. But I find that as a boon, because I often see how two school mates meet and the first thing they do is share stupid stories of them in school. Like how he shat in his pants while writing the maths paper, or how he got slapped by a chic younger than him on Sport's Day. STUPID! Hence I always had friends who believed in the present and loved to have fun. I would love to name a few, Rajeev Balani, Sandeep Shet, Nikhil Sawant, Vishal Menon etc..The thing here being, I had more friends in the form of my teachers than my batch mates.
Ok that period of my life totally sucked! :| ...Boohoo! Skool Life sucked! I think I'm the only guy who can say that!
Coming to the later stages, I had some good company later when I moved out into the world and had variety of friends when I attended College and started socializing. Rich friends, Poor friends, fuck buddies, asshole friends, possessive friends, stupid friends, friends' friends...and the list goes on and on..I had lots of great company in these years, but I eventually lost most of them because of my addictions and other related habits. Fuck! When I look back, I could have so many good friends!..Ok I'm using this term a lot! Darn! I do not know any other word! :|..
I remember this time when I called a dude some names in front of the girls and totally cock blocked him. He did not talk to me, but today, that dude is one of the only remaining friends I have!
It all eventually comes up to this scenario, don't judge yourself by how many friends you have, judge yourself by how much those limited friends are worth! I have 10 or maybe 20, and each one is worth a 100; so I definitely have more friends than you, Dont I! :D :)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The complexity of reason
So 'graphene' is the new talk of tinsel town, and how it won two russian born american scientists the coveted Nobel Prize and made their pockets heavier ($450,000 each!). But why would we give a fuck? I mean what do we have to do with some nerdy assholes making it big in planet nerdmoron. But it does matter in the end; coz at the end of it all this innovation is going to be implemented in everything, right from mobile phones to aircrafts. But this discovery was a accident, like all the inventions of the earlier generations. They just happened to use a cello tape and attach it to a common pencil lead ( made of graphite) and watch the cello tape under the microscope. The thing is, they had managed to isolate just one atom of Carbon from its graphite form. Ok! I'm beginning to sound very weirdly Nerdy myself.
That was just an example of what I'm getting at. We all come across the need of reasoning skills to decipher the right judgments and fallacies in life. But my question is, does reason really exist? Please know that I am just giving you examples of why reason does not exist, and not the real reason of the same. So please read and try to understand where the thought's coming from.
I was having a friendly chat with an atheist friend of mine, and from that friendly conversation I deduced the first example of 'The lack of reasoning in humanity'. GOD! From the dawn of time itself, humans have always had the urge to believe in the 'supernatural'. That is just embedded in our genes, to be a little schizophrenic. I don't say all this because am an agnostic too, but my point being, how is the lack of reasoning responsible for the formation of religion? Till the 16th century people thought that the Universe revolved around the Earth, it is not until a man named Nicolas Copernicus, reasoned this theory and later found out that, this was just a misconception and the earth was just a part of a solar system that revolved around our sun.
Getting back to the topic, why hasn't anyone ever reason the subject of god, and try to either prove or reason with the existence of god? What I say is simple, 'Show me God, and i'll believe him with my eyes closed.'
So do we actually reason everything as we do it? Or is it just a line of unconscious decisions that if go well, we say we reasoned it all out, and when it fails we blame our luck.
Take love for instance, relationships. My Oh My! Can they be ever reasoned out? But when it works out and when we are 70 and sitting in a lonely house, we are proud of reasoning out all the fine details that led to this life. But if that singular entity could ever be reasoned with, do you think there would be so many disheartened souls? So many divorces? So many cases of domestic violence?
So I leave you out, with just one thing to say and wonder about, do we actually reason? Maybe next time we say we are going to weigh the pros and cons, we probably SHOULD! :)
Btw, plzz goto this page and just 'like' it..Its a favoud for a friend..He needs it! Please help me out by helping him..:)...http://www.facebook.com/pages/Paisa-Vasool/113252258734165
Toodles! No more 'I need a Girlfriend Jokes!' I have one now! :D :)...or atleast I think I do! :D :)...
P.S. From now my close friend Kushal will also be a part of this blog. So its going to be double the fun!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I dont know why...
I have always wondered, how could something affect someone so deeply and in such a way that the person has a 'scar' for life. Personally, I myself have not had a pleasant childhood or teenage years. But I was never affected by something that adversely, that it made a mark on my life, and it forced me to make a whole chapter of my life on the consequences of that incident. No! Never!
I mean I've had people tell me that I am inconsiderate, rude, illogical, stupid and immature; but all those adjectives were given to me only because I failed to understand the morals of the society and the people around me. In other terms, I have been brought up to be numb of my immediate surroundings. I've known some friends who were so affected by something that happened in their life that they attempted suicide, which at the time, they thought was apt and absolutely necessary. But my friends, you have to understand that 'ending' is so simple, but continuing and tolerating everything that life throws at you with an open heart and a wide smile, is what separates the men from the boys.
You'll find a dime a dozen emo fucks out there, who think their life is miserable to the core, but when you ask them that what have they done to make it worthwhile and worth the pain; they will be speechless and absolutely dumbfounded. In other words, a donkey cant understand a horse's miseries.
How many times have I seen my friends falling into malicious practices only because they thought their life was not going to get any better. They all suck! I realize it now. All everyone needs is a jolt. A push, a jerk, an emotional failure or even a death to make them realize how lucky they, are to even lead a life in the first place.
Well, I had none of the above, but I have to endure something even more grave and exhilarating. 'Love'
Well, it aint no child's play. It aint that complicated either. Its just a moment, just a glance ,just a feeling that we get when we stare at 'that person'. Till now I've had many such experiences, but none that stood out, except for the one that I have been experiencing. Even the sound of her voice brings goosebumps, imagine what her touch will do to me!
I'm lost my friends, and to the contradiction of this whole post, I do understand what 'a moment', 'a phase', 'a death', 'an experience' can do to all of us. I've been lucky that I always got the colorful end of an already colorful spectrum, but there are so many, who still cant understand what 'being happy' feels like. Lets identify these motherfuckers and tell them, 'We are there for you, come what may!'
P.S. To whoever I might have called a friend and hurt sometime, I am really sorry. I understand what you felt, Now! Please forgive me!
I mean I've had people tell me that I am inconsiderate, rude, illogical, stupid and immature; but all those adjectives were given to me only because I failed to understand the morals of the society and the people around me. In other terms, I have been brought up to be numb of my immediate surroundings. I've known some friends who were so affected by something that happened in their life that they attempted suicide, which at the time, they thought was apt and absolutely necessary. But my friends, you have to understand that 'ending' is so simple, but continuing and tolerating everything that life throws at you with an open heart and a wide smile, is what separates the men from the boys.
You'll find a dime a dozen emo fucks out there, who think their life is miserable to the core, but when you ask them that what have they done to make it worthwhile and worth the pain; they will be speechless and absolutely dumbfounded. In other words, a donkey cant understand a horse's miseries.
How many times have I seen my friends falling into malicious practices only because they thought their life was not going to get any better. They all suck! I realize it now. All everyone needs is a jolt. A push, a jerk, an emotional failure or even a death to make them realize how lucky they, are to even lead a life in the first place.
Well, I had none of the above, but I have to endure something even more grave and exhilarating. 'Love'
Well, it aint no child's play. It aint that complicated either. Its just a moment, just a glance ,just a feeling that we get when we stare at 'that person'. Till now I've had many such experiences, but none that stood out, except for the one that I have been experiencing. Even the sound of her voice brings goosebumps, imagine what her touch will do to me!
I'm lost my friends, and to the contradiction of this whole post, I do understand what 'a moment', 'a phase', 'a death', 'an experience' can do to all of us. I've been lucky that I always got the colorful end of an already colorful spectrum, but there are so many, who still cant understand what 'being happy' feels like. Lets identify these motherfuckers and tell them, 'We are there for you, come what may!'
P.S. To whoever I might have called a friend and hurt sometime, I am really sorry. I understand what you felt, Now! Please forgive me!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thinking is such a waste of time!
'I was thinking...'. Now that spells trouble doesn't it. I remember how frightened I used to get when my teacher back in school used to start a sentence like that, because it usually ended with, 'we should send him to another class' or 'we should make him sit separately' because I talked too much! How stupid a reason is that, I was always quick at making friends, and no matter who they seat me with or no matter what class they sent me to, it never worked, I always was outspoken and I always was good at making friends quickly! :)
I remember this time when I was shifted to this other division, because my teachers thought I was a 'bad influence' on the classroom (Std 9 , Div B), and I made it very noisy. And I spent 2 weeks in the new classroom (Std 9 , Div G), and I dont know if you call that coincidence or my doing, but that class turned to one of the nosiest and chaotic classes to ever be. During an examination in my new class (Biology test to be precise), my paper was found on some other dude's table and we both got fucked! If I remember we had normal lash backs and apart from that a '-5 marks' on our test papers (The test was out of 10 and was gonna be counted in our finals). We both scored 5 on 10 even after the penalty. Everyone was confused back then, but now I can confess, the dude copied from me, and I copied from a more reliable source, 'The Textbook". hahahahahaha! I am so sorry mam! :D :)
(I am so sorry, that was totally out of context, but I just remembered that! ! ! :D )
back to the topic...
This line is one of those 'starting a sentence to fuk u up later' lines. No matter what comes out the other end, the guy on the receiving end is always in trouble. And the only reaction to come out of this situation is 'Fuck You!'. How many have you had this line?..."I was thinking that we should just be friends'. Thats what I mean man! Those 3 words put together do more damage than the taliban and the Indian Mujahideen put together! Just cruel! I've had those punch lines 'punched' onto my face, and the feeling my friends aint that great. :|
Why do the cunt muscles have to be so polite when delivering such a blow? It feels like castrating a guy with a rose petal.(If that made sense, I suspect ur smiling by now). How can be 3 words that have no significance whatsoever individually, make us all its bitches? FUCK!
Why cant they just be straight forward and tell us without using this? I mean u can try and heal the wound after; Have we ever heard anyone using air freshener before farting? NO! Atleast we know whats coming then, because otherwise we are so hopeful but later its like a huge block of ice rested on our crotch. Have you ever seen a dog's reaction when he senses food, but gets none because all he was smelling was his smelly owners body odor.
So my people, if you have to hit someone just hit him already. Stop making 10 stories about it! Being gentle helps but not being a contradictorial asshole! (If that is even a word!)
I remember this time when I was shifted to this other division, because my teachers thought I was a 'bad influence' on the classroom (Std 9 , Div B), and I made it very noisy. And I spent 2 weeks in the new classroom (Std 9 , Div G), and I dont know if you call that coincidence or my doing, but that class turned to one of the nosiest and chaotic classes to ever be. During an examination in my new class (Biology test to be precise), my paper was found on some other dude's table and we both got fucked! If I remember we had normal lash backs and apart from that a '-5 marks' on our test papers (The test was out of 10 and was gonna be counted in our finals). We both scored 5 on 10 even after the penalty. Everyone was confused back then, but now I can confess, the dude copied from me, and I copied from a more reliable source, 'The Textbook". hahahahahaha! I am so sorry mam! :D :)
(I am so sorry, that was totally out of context, but I just remembered that! ! ! :D )
back to the topic...
This line is one of those 'starting a sentence to fuk u up later' lines. No matter what comes out the other end, the guy on the receiving end is always in trouble. And the only reaction to come out of this situation is 'Fuck You!'. How many have you had this line?..."I was thinking that we should just be friends'. Thats what I mean man! Those 3 words put together do more damage than the taliban and the Indian Mujahideen put together! Just cruel! I've had those punch lines 'punched' onto my face, and the feeling my friends aint that great. :|
Why do the cunt muscles have to be so polite when delivering such a blow? It feels like castrating a guy with a rose petal.(If that made sense, I suspect ur smiling by now). How can be 3 words that have no significance whatsoever individually, make us all its bitches? FUCK!
Why cant they just be straight forward and tell us without using this? I mean u can try and heal the wound after; Have we ever heard anyone using air freshener before farting? NO! Atleast we know whats coming then, because otherwise we are so hopeful but later its like a huge block of ice rested on our crotch. Have you ever seen a dog's reaction when he senses food, but gets none because all he was smelling was his smelly owners body odor.
So my people, if you have to hit someone just hit him already. Stop making 10 stories about it! Being gentle helps but not being a contradictorial asshole! (If that is even a word!)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The queer little think called 'Love'
Crush, Infatuation and what not other words that we come through when we are adolescent. But is Love the real thing that comes out of liking someone? Now you may very literally get confused by the use of Love. Parents and friends alike, we love a lot of people around us, but here am referring to the real deal. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach in anticipation of a simple text message, or the numb feeling that you get when he/she shares with you, how unbreakable that 'bond' you share has become.
If you guys are wondering, Yes! I'm in love. So whats wrong in that? I mean its a feeling that doesn't show up much in my monotonous and robotic life, but its the thing that keeps me going. She told me, Paolo Coelho says, 'If you can see that beam of light on the left shoulder of the person who you have feelings for, are real soul mates'. As an agnostic I totally believe in that, may be soul mates do exist, but I have found mine, and it feels good. Where not a sound is required to speak, vision not required to see and presence not required to feel, that is true Love.
Not the adolescent terms that we keep hearing. Very frankly I've used this term 'Love' so many times, to woo girls, to get close to them, heck! to even get into their pants. But now do I understand the actual significance. I thought Love was just fictitious, cannot exist and cannot be understood, a tool for the weak hearted. But I was so wrong!
It is such a strong word, that brings peace of mind amidst chaos, steady thinking amongst confusion and very importantly a will and a purpose to live and do better. I've always been fickle minded and idiotic about my decisions in life, always did what I wanted to do and never gave a fuck about another being in the world. But that has steadily changed. Now I have kept a job for more than 2 months, I have gone back to reading, I respect people a lot more now, I have started studying again, I've become more dedicated. The uninteresting don't seem uninteresting anymore, the boring don't seem boring anymore, I listen to songs I've never heard before (Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun), I even try to lose weight, something which I have never done!
People say long distance relationships don't work, I say screw them! Sometimes in life you got to run before you can walk. And this is more than run, this is like a sprint of hasty decisions, feelings and much more. I know this aint like my usual posts, because you haven't laughed as yet. But this thing has been inside me for a long time. I thought of sharing this thing, with you guys, so that you don't miss your train, like I almost did.
Just remember, Everyone says life's too complicated, but have we really tried to sit and untangle it? Think before we act we say, but do we? We preach, but do we practice? Lets become a little more sensitive guys, a little more affectionate and a lot more adorable. I love you you all, but especially you!
P.S. I found her, hiding in plain sight. Hence sometimes we gotta check our side of the fence before we venture out eh? :)
I promise you the next post will surely be a little more friendly and a lot funnier. But this one was for me and her! :) I Love You Dear! Mwwwwwaaaah!
If you guys are wondering, Yes! I'm in love. So whats wrong in that? I mean its a feeling that doesn't show up much in my monotonous and robotic life, but its the thing that keeps me going. She told me, Paolo Coelho says, 'If you can see that beam of light on the left shoulder of the person who you have feelings for, are real soul mates'. As an agnostic I totally believe in that, may be soul mates do exist, but I have found mine, and it feels good. Where not a sound is required to speak, vision not required to see and presence not required to feel, that is true Love.
Not the adolescent terms that we keep hearing. Very frankly I've used this term 'Love' so many times, to woo girls, to get close to them, heck! to even get into their pants. But now do I understand the actual significance. I thought Love was just fictitious, cannot exist and cannot be understood, a tool for the weak hearted. But I was so wrong!
It is such a strong word, that brings peace of mind amidst chaos, steady thinking amongst confusion and very importantly a will and a purpose to live and do better. I've always been fickle minded and idiotic about my decisions in life, always did what I wanted to do and never gave a fuck about another being in the world. But that has steadily changed. Now I have kept a job for more than 2 months, I have gone back to reading, I respect people a lot more now, I have started studying again, I've become more dedicated. The uninteresting don't seem uninteresting anymore, the boring don't seem boring anymore, I listen to songs I've never heard before (Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun), I even try to lose weight, something which I have never done!
People say long distance relationships don't work, I say screw them! Sometimes in life you got to run before you can walk. And this is more than run, this is like a sprint of hasty decisions, feelings and much more. I know this aint like my usual posts, because you haven't laughed as yet. But this thing has been inside me for a long time. I thought of sharing this thing, with you guys, so that you don't miss your train, like I almost did.
Just remember, Everyone says life's too complicated, but have we really tried to sit and untangle it? Think before we act we say, but do we? We preach, but do we practice? Lets become a little more sensitive guys, a little more affectionate and a lot more adorable. I love you you all, but especially you!
P.S. I found her, hiding in plain sight. Hence sometimes we gotta check our side of the fence before we venture out eh? :)
I promise you the next post will surely be a little more friendly and a lot funnier. But this one was for me and her! :) I Love You Dear! Mwwwwwaaaah!
Friday, September 17, 2010
One Liners Girls 'Shouldn't Use' in the morning after sex!
Hey guys, I was thinking a lot about what to write about that would be funny and exhilarating at the same time. I could come up with nothing. This is a simple compilation of the worst one liners ever! :D :)
P.S. Some are from personal experiences, but most are from other friends! And they are all real, which led all of us guys to be so sad after 'The Night'. Try to imagine the actual scene and recite these, so that you can feel what's going on. And if you think you're gonna die of laughter, go ahead and die! :) :D
Lines Girls Shouldn't use on the morning after sex:
1. "Aaaaaaaahh! Who are you!"
2. "Why does my mouth hurt?"
3. "What the fuk were you thinking?"
4. "That was 'Alright' I guess"
5. "You were good, but i've been with better"
6. "I think I'm still a virgin!"
7. "I think we shouldn't get drunk the next time."
8. "ohhhh! YOU!"
9. "You need practice."
10. "Please make me some coffee."
11. "I think I have to turn lesbian now."
12. "Please don't call me later"
13. "I don't think that was bad at all."
14. "You are 'small'."
15. "Why do you kiss so hard? I have a headache now!"
16. *farts*
17. "Oooops!"
18. "Do you have any weed left?"
19. "I feel violated."
20. "I Love you!"
21. "I hate you!"
22. "Do we know each other?"
23. "Please don't tell my sister about last night."
24. *farts again*
25. "WooooooW! You were OK!"
26. "I want some food!"
27. "I hope you have no STD"
28. "Are you gay?"
29. "Are you bi?"
30. "That was disgusting!"
31. "Don't ever try that with any other girl again!"
32. "Homerun! Another Virgin banged!"
33. "You should stick to the things you're good at!"
34. *thinks for a while*, "I'm still thinking about what to say."
35. *screams*, "You! You.....you look like my younger brother!"
36. "You know darling....I was a guy once."
Girls! Please know that almost all the guys out there like 'silence' in the morning. So no matter what you say, you will still end up as the '37th' point! :D :)
Cheers! :D :)
P.S. Some are from personal experiences, but most are from other friends! And they are all real, which led all of us guys to be so sad after 'The Night'. Try to imagine the actual scene and recite these, so that you can feel what's going on. And if you think you're gonna die of laughter, go ahead and die! :) :D
Lines Girls Shouldn't use on the morning after sex:
1. "Aaaaaaaahh! Who are you!"
2. "Why does my mouth hurt?"
3. "What the fuk were you thinking?"
4. "That was 'Alright' I guess"
5. "You were good, but i've been with better"
6. "I think I'm still a virgin!"
7. "I think we shouldn't get drunk the next time."
8. "ohhhh! YOU!"
9. "You need practice."
10. "Please make me some coffee."
11. "I think I have to turn lesbian now."
12. "Please don't call me later"
13. "I don't think that was bad at all."
14. "You are 'small'."
15. "Why do you kiss so hard? I have a headache now!"
16. *farts*
17. "Oooops!"
18. "Do you have any weed left?"
19. "I feel violated."
20. "I Love you!"
21. "I hate you!"
22. "Do we know each other?"
23. "Please don't tell my sister about last night."
24. *farts again*
25. "WooooooW! You were OK!"
26. "I want some food!"
27. "I hope you have no STD"
28. "Are you gay?"
29. "Are you bi?"
30. "That was disgusting!"
31. "Don't ever try that with any other girl again!"
32. "Homerun! Another Virgin banged!"
33. "You should stick to the things you're good at!"
34. *thinks for a while*, "I'm still thinking about what to say."
35. *screams*, "You! You.....you look like my younger brother!"
36. "You know darling....I was a guy once."
Girls! Please know that almost all the guys out there like 'silence' in the morning. So no matter what you say, you will still end up as the '37th' point! :D :)
Cheers! :D :)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Laws of 'Dating'
Hello my peeps! I know this title has already taken ur eyes and concentration of anything you were doing, prior to viewing this blog! :) I am in Dubai, and 'dating' for me only means the process of plucking date from the trees and selling them in the market! :| I hate it here! There is absolutely no social life here! And every girl you see is either white and already dating, or is a filipino and am not interested! :|
So to remove my frustration am writing this, I have got a lot of views by a lot of different people in the last week, and almost every girl told me that I portrayed girls in a very wrong way, 'Dumb and Immature' are the exact words used! So this time, I'll try being neutral (Although I think that's highly impossible!). Have fun.
Wat does force us to date? I mean I know 12 year olds who date now! At their age I was busy realizing the multiple uses of my penis, I didn't even know what the female organ was called, and the 'realization' part may have involved the internet and magazines! :D
I mean ftw! Do they even get an erection at that age? How do they know wat 'dating' is? Is it more like an experiment? What do they do when they 'hang out'! Am so disgusted right now! I feel like I had been left behind in that chain. I mean I started quite early, but not @ 12!
Thus I conclude, dating for us being teenagers is nothing but just a point to prove. No one gives a fuck what the other person in the relationship's thinking, we are so overcome by the forces of society and the whole social curve where everyone is dating everybody that we end up doing that stupid mistake ourselves. I mean take my example, I've been out of the business so long that its not wrong if I start calling myself a virgin again! Even my dear friend Bhatta does not have such a bad fate I guess :D So these are just a few of the couples that you will find roaming around. Mind you I have characterized from my personal experiences and experiences of friends.
1. The Goner and the Goon
I just love this couple. Its like the best and sweetest combo ever! All us boys know that girls have that soft spot for the 'wounded puppy' and the 'wanted criminal', I mean that is just in our genes to show u how 'wounded' or how 'bad' we are, to prove a point. Well the girl in this one has not totally been duped. The guy is notorious, I mean even his name derives fear and respect, but he at the same time is such a good catch for the girl. She aint dumb by any means, its the basic alpha male alpha female pairing, she loves hanging out with a guy who is assured to protect her and make her feel wanted. I dare not say anything bad about these 2! Your relationship's gonna last alrite!
2. The Poser and the Doser
This is like the Laurel and Hardy of the dating business! The guy's a total dopehead, or even better a total 'Boom Shankar'. The chic is uber wannabe, she has no fancies of herself, she lives on someone else's whims and fancies, no backbone and such an uber pain in the ass! She is uber rich and will flaunt the name of her father at the slightest signal of trouble. (:P name of her father sounded so 'pope'! ) The guy's a gone case, I mean at some point in life she will obviously just lose him, but the guy is so lucky to have such an 'open minded' girl who also turns out to be hot in some perverse way. (Yuck! *pukes*). You can do nothing but stare at this couple and wonder 'What The Fuck is Wrong with Society!'. Pairs like these are so common, that they are ready to file for a different constituency for themselves.
3. The Sucker and the 'Suckee'
What does the name suggest? I mean where the fuck do i come up with this shit! :)
No hard feelings for this kind of girl, but its almost a 100% sure that most of guys have lost our virginity to you. You are amazing, and can never be forgotten, you collect virginities like its going out of fashion or something. The guy knows what he's in for, but does he give a fuck in the end? He knows what he's gonna ''get'' out of it in the end of it all. They are not emotional at all. In fact, the guy's still realizing his manhood, and the chic is just giving him a hand. Get a real girl dude! Be atleast Half the man that she is!
3. The Queen and the 'Bean'
This is the couple which every one of us look at and wonder, "How does a dude like that score a smoking hot piece of meat like that?" But this relationship's almost totally emotional! I mean have you even seen the guy? I cant even say that the girl's gonna..... Haha! But eventually she does teach him the main aspects of beauty, that it's not related to how you look, but your smartness and behavior. I bet you know atleast one of this kind. I just love them, because the guy is so helpless, you can take his help to get back on to the girl. ( You know what I mean, Revenge!) As it turns out she's your 'ex'! :( . And then you wonder, if her choice's that bad, I was part of that 'choice', then you start doubting yourself, and end of story!
4. The Fat Sting and the Ugly Duckling
They are the least famous batchmates, not so blessed in the looks, not smart, awesomely shy! I bet you just had atleast a million names jump to your mind. They are sorta doing each other a favor. This is the best example of social pressure of dating, I mean they are so desperate to date each other, they end up choosing someone they dont like at all, but eventually it all just works itself out. This couple is really smart and they eventually turn out to be cool individuals also, very fun and knowledgeable to talk to.
5. The 'COUPLE'
I Hate this pairing! These people are the sole reason that half the other relationships around them keep failing! I hate them! :)
I want to come up with more...but this time I leave it to you guys....just use the "Comments" to fill up a pair that I might have missed. Make it raunchy and make it as close to your heart as u can, Please know that being abusive and picking on someone is not going to get you into trouble. So you can come here and take revenge also! :)
So to remove my frustration am writing this, I have got a lot of views by a lot of different people in the last week, and almost every girl told me that I portrayed girls in a very wrong way, 'Dumb and Immature' are the exact words used! So this time, I'll try being neutral (Although I think that's highly impossible!). Have fun.
Wat does force us to date? I mean I know 12 year olds who date now! At their age I was busy realizing the multiple uses of my penis, I didn't even know what the female organ was called, and the 'realization' part may have involved the internet and magazines! :D
I mean ftw! Do they even get an erection at that age? How do they know wat 'dating' is? Is it more like an experiment? What do they do when they 'hang out'! Am so disgusted right now! I feel like I had been left behind in that chain. I mean I started quite early, but not @ 12!
Thus I conclude, dating for us being teenagers is nothing but just a point to prove. No one gives a fuck what the other person in the relationship's thinking, we are so overcome by the forces of society and the whole social curve where everyone is dating everybody that we end up doing that stupid mistake ourselves. I mean take my example, I've been out of the business so long that its not wrong if I start calling myself a virgin again! Even my dear friend Bhatta does not have such a bad fate I guess :D So these are just a few of the couples that you will find roaming around. Mind you I have characterized from my personal experiences and experiences of friends.
1. The Goner and the Goon
I just love this couple. Its like the best and sweetest combo ever! All us boys know that girls have that soft spot for the 'wounded puppy' and the 'wanted criminal', I mean that is just in our genes to show u how 'wounded' or how 'bad' we are, to prove a point. Well the girl in this one has not totally been duped. The guy is notorious, I mean even his name derives fear and respect, but he at the same time is such a good catch for the girl. She aint dumb by any means, its the basic alpha male alpha female pairing, she loves hanging out with a guy who is assured to protect her and make her feel wanted. I dare not say anything bad about these 2! Your relationship's gonna last alrite!
2. The Poser and the Doser
This is like the Laurel and Hardy of the dating business! The guy's a total dopehead, or even better a total 'Boom Shankar'. The chic is uber wannabe, she has no fancies of herself, she lives on someone else's whims and fancies, no backbone and such an uber pain in the ass! She is uber rich and will flaunt the name of her father at the slightest signal of trouble. (:P name of her father sounded so 'pope'! ) The guy's a gone case, I mean at some point in life she will obviously just lose him, but the guy is so lucky to have such an 'open minded' girl who also turns out to be hot in some perverse way. (Yuck! *pukes*). You can do nothing but stare at this couple and wonder 'What The Fuck is Wrong with Society!'. Pairs like these are so common, that they are ready to file for a different constituency for themselves.
3. The Sucker and the 'Suckee'
What does the name suggest? I mean where the fuck do i come up with this shit! :)
No hard feelings for this kind of girl, but its almost a 100% sure that most of guys have lost our virginity to you. You are amazing, and can never be forgotten, you collect virginities like its going out of fashion or something. The guy knows what he's in for, but does he give a fuck in the end? He knows what he's gonna ''get'' out of it in the end of it all. They are not emotional at all. In fact, the guy's still realizing his manhood, and the chic is just giving him a hand. Get a real girl dude! Be atleast Half the man that she is!
3. The Queen and the 'Bean'
This is the couple which every one of us look at and wonder, "How does a dude like that score a smoking hot piece of meat like that?" But this relationship's almost totally emotional! I mean have you even seen the guy? I cant even say that the girl's gonna..... Haha! But eventually she does teach him the main aspects of beauty, that it's not related to how you look, but your smartness and behavior. I bet you know atleast one of this kind. I just love them, because the guy is so helpless, you can take his help to get back on to the girl. ( You know what I mean, Revenge!) As it turns out she's your 'ex'! :( . And then you wonder, if her choice's that bad, I was part of that 'choice', then you start doubting yourself, and end of story!
4. The Fat Sting and the Ugly Duckling
They are the least famous batchmates, not so blessed in the looks, not smart, awesomely shy! I bet you just had atleast a million names jump to your mind. They are sorta doing each other a favor. This is the best example of social pressure of dating, I mean they are so desperate to date each other, they end up choosing someone they dont like at all, but eventually it all just works itself out. This couple is really smart and they eventually turn out to be cool individuals also, very fun and knowledgeable to talk to.
5. The 'COUPLE'
I Hate this pairing! These people are the sole reason that half the other relationships around them keep failing! I hate them! :)
I want to come up with more...but this time I leave it to you guys....just use the "Comments" to fill up a pair that I might have missed. Make it raunchy and make it as close to your heart as u can, Please know that being abusive and picking on someone is not going to get you into trouble. So you can come here and take revenge also! :)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
"Wateva!"
Its high time I come up with what I like to write about. I love to publish my take on everything. It may be right, it may be wrong, it may be too judgmental, but they are my views in the end, and I promise you, the least that comes out of it will be humor! :)
So there is this thing that a friend of mine 'Priyanka' told me about, this thing where girls keep using "wateva". I mean c'mon guys! How many times have we been so very upset, frustrated and depressed by the use of that term by the "bitches". But at the same time, its the same word that can mean so much in certain situations, and the adjective changes all of a sudden from 'bitch' to 'angel'. :) How pathetic are we? How can the use of one word mean so much to us? We are supposed to have our brains in our dicks! But at the end of it all, it just makes for a very good read. And if you didn't like the read, get back to me on how I could have changed it, provide me your home address, so that......'I can come there and kill you, you pathetic piece of shit!'
1. Boy : 'You wanna get a drink sometime?'
Girl : "Wateva..."
This is the first situation and obviously the most common one. This is like the ball crusher! I mean once that word comes out of her mouth, it feels like she unbuttoned my pants and then cut my ball sack from right under my nose. This is the sign of cold indifference, the girl thinks you haven't done enough to deserve that opportunity or the other case is you are outright ugly, and hence she means NO (with attitude and tone!). I mean c'mon dude, everyone has a right to be ugly, but if your the fucker who abuses that privilege, how could you even think of asking her out in the first place?
Meaning = No.
2. Boy : 'Who the fuck do you think you are?'
Girl : 'Wtf! *long pause, disgusted look* ..Wateva!'
She cares for you man, and you just threw shit on her face. No girl's gonna just wipe the shit clear and get back to you. I mean even if the shit was dry o sumin it wouldn't have mattered, but that was as good as throwing fresh wet human faeces on her face bro! Good luck getting her back!
Meaning = Fuck Off!
3. Boy : 'You have to have fight bout everything there is? I mean just say you're wrong for a change?'
Girl : 'Yeah! Like that's gonna happen! Wateva'
This is the most depressing situation. You know she is wrong in this argument, Heck! Even she knows she's wrong in this argument, but then sometimes she needs to prove that she has bigger balls than you rite? (Metaphorically, unless u know Bobby Darling personally!). She has just lost her pride in this fight, but since an argument always ends with the girl saying the last word, there is pretty much no use in saying anything at all. Like a good thought says, 'In every argument the girl has the last word. Any word by a man after that is the start of a new argument'. So Just Back Off and stay low...:)
meaning = She cant admit she's wrong!
4. Boy : 'I love you so much, I cannot stop thinking about you!'
Girl : 'Hehehehehehehehe, Whadevvvaaaaa! Idiot!'
You got her bro, I mean you can declare her your property now and show everyone the 'trophy'. And start being yourself again, the friends, the booze, the computer, now you're a happy man. Congratulations.
5. Boy : *crack a stupid joke* *laughs very stupidly*
Girl : 'whodeva!'
She was just disgusted by that joke of yours! But she kinda likes it. You know what the people say, the girl is not totally open with you unless she farts in your presence! Well, she definitely isn't that open, but then, you're getting there. You have finally proven that you have the sufficient amount of humor to impress her and win her over! :D :)
meaning = I love you too.
6. Boy : *staring at another girl* 'WoW, You're beautiful'
Girl : "Well thanks...." *sees u staring at the chic* "Wateva..." *walks off*
You're in deep shit my brother! :D You're so fucked! I mean, even George Bush wasn't fucked this bad by the Al Qaida! Hohohohoho! You're chance of .....Duh! You're so dead! hahahahaha!
P.S. I smell a brunt asshole! :D
meaning = fuck you ^ infinity
7. Girl : *Its 'that' time of the month* 'Waddddeeeevvvvvvaaaaa!'
This chic is uber frustrated coz of her rising hormones, please don't tell me you do not know why her hormones are rising(I conclude that you're either a virgin or bhatta! :D ). If you still did not understand, go ask a chic what PMS is, and mind you am not responsible for any of her actions. :D :)
meaning = stay the fuck away from her!
Well my friends, I tried my best, I hope this helps in some way or the other :D I hope its mostly the 'other'! :P
P.S. I need that girlfriend asap! Even if it's made of silicon and costs 65$ :D :)
So there is this thing that a friend of mine 'Priyanka' told me about, this thing where girls keep using "wateva". I mean c'mon guys! How many times have we been so very upset, frustrated and depressed by the use of that term by the "bitches". But at the same time, its the same word that can mean so much in certain situations, and the adjective changes all of a sudden from 'bitch' to 'angel'. :) How pathetic are we? How can the use of one word mean so much to us? We are supposed to have our brains in our dicks! But at the end of it all, it just makes for a very good read. And if you didn't like the read, get back to me on how I could have changed it, provide me your home address, so that......'I can come there and kill you, you pathetic piece of shit!'
1. Boy : 'You wanna get a drink sometime?'
Girl : "Wateva..."
This is the first situation and obviously the most common one. This is like the ball crusher! I mean once that word comes out of her mouth, it feels like she unbuttoned my pants and then cut my ball sack from right under my nose. This is the sign of cold indifference, the girl thinks you haven't done enough to deserve that opportunity or the other case is you are outright ugly, and hence she means NO (with attitude and tone!). I mean c'mon dude, everyone has a right to be ugly, but if your the fucker who abuses that privilege, how could you even think of asking her out in the first place?
Meaning = No.
2. Boy : 'Who the fuck do you think you are?'
Girl : 'Wtf! *long pause, disgusted look* ..Wateva!'
She cares for you man, and you just threw shit on her face. No girl's gonna just wipe the shit clear and get back to you. I mean even if the shit was dry o sumin it wouldn't have mattered, but that was as good as throwing fresh wet human faeces on her face bro! Good luck getting her back!
Meaning = Fuck Off!
3. Boy : 'You have to have fight bout everything there is? I mean just say you're wrong for a change?'
Girl : 'Yeah! Like that's gonna happen! Wateva'
This is the most depressing situation. You know she is wrong in this argument, Heck! Even she knows she's wrong in this argument, but then sometimes she needs to prove that she has bigger balls than you rite? (Metaphorically, unless u know Bobby Darling personally!). She has just lost her pride in this fight, but since an argument always ends with the girl saying the last word, there is pretty much no use in saying anything at all. Like a good thought says, 'In every argument the girl has the last word. Any word by a man after that is the start of a new argument'. So Just Back Off and stay low...:)
meaning = She cant admit she's wrong!
4. Boy : 'I love you so much, I cannot stop thinking about you!'
Girl : 'Hehehehehehehehe, Whadevvvaaaaa! Idiot!'
You got her bro, I mean you can declare her your property now and show everyone the 'trophy'. And start being yourself again, the friends, the booze, the computer, now you're a happy man. Congratulations.
5. Boy : *crack a stupid joke* *laughs very stupidly*
Girl : 'whodeva!'
She was just disgusted by that joke of yours! But she kinda likes it. You know what the people say, the girl is not totally open with you unless she farts in your presence! Well, she definitely isn't that open, but then, you're getting there. You have finally proven that you have the sufficient amount of humor to impress her and win her over! :D :)
meaning = I love you too.
6. Boy : *staring at another girl* 'WoW, You're beautiful'
Girl : "Well thanks...." *sees u staring at the chic* "Wateva..." *walks off*
You're in deep shit my brother! :D You're so fucked! I mean, even George Bush wasn't fucked this bad by the Al Qaida! Hohohohoho! You're chance of .....Duh! You're so dead! hahahahaha!
P.S. I smell a brunt asshole! :D
meaning = fuck you ^ infinity
7. Girl : *Its 'that' time of the month* 'Waddddeeeevvvvvvaaaaa!'
This chic is uber frustrated coz of her rising hormones, please don't tell me you do not know why her hormones are rising(I conclude that you're either a virgin or bhatta! :D ). If you still did not understand, go ask a chic what PMS is, and mind you am not responsible for any of her actions. :D :)
meaning = stay the fuck away from her!
Well my friends, I tried my best, I hope this helps in some way or the other :D I hope its mostly the 'other'! :P
P.S. I need that girlfriend asap! Even if it's made of silicon and costs 65$ :D :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
'Complementation'
We all deal with anxieties, troubles and all the regular bull shit; from life and the other preemptive sources. I have not met that single guy who hasn't met with the situation where he thought 'shitting in his pants' would be simpler! I mean c'mon, who's life is perfect? We may all think that we have the maximum load on our shoulders. But don't forget my friends, even a dick (not literally :P) has his own share of problems that he/she thinks is too much to handle.
For me though, its more like a learning curve. I don't mind the problems, but its the company that I am with when I am in trouble is what matters. For 99 out of 100 times, I'm let down, betrayed or even been hurt by the people I call 'Friends'. And every time I face this there is always one thing that comes to my mind "MotherFucking Bastard!". My mom summed it all up in the best way possible, no matter how you play it, a friend will always terminate in an 'end'.
But I beg to differ. I've met those 'hearty' souls, who have truly been there made it easier. Mind you, its not like they made all my troubles just disappear, in fact most of the times it turned out the exact opposite. When I am in trouble, they make sure that they make it worse for me :P :D.
But they have their own ways of helping out. Some offer emotional back up, some monetary, some sheer muscle; but in the end its their presence that matters above all else!
But then there are those unfortunate ones too, who cant understand the value of coal before its refined and turned into diamond. Fucking cunts I say! May they end up in Heaven for the pussies that they have been through out their lives!
So my patrons, remember, respect and love is not given or demanded, its earned and to be cherished! And if you didn't understand the above sentence, I suggest you go fuck yourself.
Cheers! To all my friends and to all my enemies too.
P.S. I still need that girl. I promise you, I wont stare at your boobs when am talking to you. :)
For me though, its more like a learning curve. I don't mind the problems, but its the company that I am with when I am in trouble is what matters. For 99 out of 100 times, I'm let down, betrayed or even been hurt by the people I call 'Friends'. And every time I face this there is always one thing that comes to my mind "MotherFucking Bastard!". My mom summed it all up in the best way possible, no matter how you play it, a friend will always terminate in an 'end'.
But I beg to differ. I've met those 'hearty' souls, who have truly been there made it easier. Mind you, its not like they made all my troubles just disappear, in fact most of the times it turned out the exact opposite. When I am in trouble, they make sure that they make it worse for me :P :D.
But they have their own ways of helping out. Some offer emotional back up, some monetary, some sheer muscle; but in the end its their presence that matters above all else!
But then there are those unfortunate ones too, who cant understand the value of coal before its refined and turned into diamond. Fucking cunts I say! May they end up in Heaven for the pussies that they have been through out their lives!
So my patrons, remember, respect and love is not given or demanded, its earned and to be cherished! And if you didn't understand the above sentence, I suggest you go fuck yourself.
Cheers! To all my friends and to all my enemies too.
P.S. I still need that girl. I promise you, I wont stare at your boobs when am talking to you. :)
Monday, September 6, 2010
'The' Influence!
As you all know, I am a die hard metal fan, I mean I eat metal, I drink metal, heck, I even sell metal i.e. I am a salesman selling structural steel. Well that definitely counts! :)
But I have also been wondering what made me start this addiction, I mean if it was harmful I would have been in rehabilitation like a million times already! :) But how did this bug catch on to my volkswagon sized balls (although I just thought them to be 'Blue' of-late, but I want it to be seen as aesthetically pleasing. Omfg! I love this line from 'The Ugly Truth') Well I used to be a cartoon freak, just like all the kids in my school, just like all the regular 1o year olds, and one of my favorites was 'Swat Kats'. I mean T-Bone and Razor and 'Commander' just blew my head off, till the time when Cartoon Network fucked everything up by turning 'Hindi'. And it sucked to lissen to 'Bade Meow' and 'Chote Meow', I mean how could I digest that kinda stupid shit! They just ruined my childhood by turning CN into a Hindi kids channel! ftw! MotherFuckers! All of them! (I know this is common for most of the guys reading this article too! :D Hell yeah!)
But that aint the point, I was 10 or 11 when I watched this show, and very surprisingly, apart from their 'jet' and their uber personalities, the other thing that kept me glued was their insanely out of the world theme music. I mean I could not miss those 30 seconds of their theme music, I mean something Tingled, like people have butterflies when they see that chic in skool, or mebbe the feeling when you have had too much to eat, or the feeling when you are standing at the principal's office and its dead silent. The same feeling that had suspense and thrill and sheer exhilaration, I got butterflies listening to a modified version of Black Sabbath's 'Children of the Grave'. A lot sassier than the original track, but it did the job.
There is one embarrassing confession to make, I used to be a hardcore Hindi movie fan, it may not seem 'cool' for many of you, but that is just the fact, so better digest it or I'll make it digest for you :X. And very surprisingly, even Hindi movies back then had Metal songs in it! I know, I know, you probably dont believe me. But check out this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6NP2dAj5ZM&feature=fvw. This is from the 1990 Aamir Khan starrer, Dil. Yeah, That's Iron Maiden's 'Aces High'. Imagine that shit! Very surprisingly, other than the fact that this movie is uber hilarious and I haven't seen this movie in the past 15 years, the only memory of this movie for me was that 10 second part of the movie! Please dont confuse this scenario, I didn't even know there was any other kind of music other than bollywood music back then. :) I was cute, I was young, I was naive and I had 'Hair' on my head. :|
Now you can probably see that 'it' was already in me, the recognition of the tritone, the metal attributes and the choice in music slowly evolved over time, but the principles still remain the same! Metalhead for life! \m/
But I have also been wondering what made me start this addiction, I mean if it was harmful I would have been in rehabilitation like a million times already! :) But how did this bug catch on to my volkswagon sized balls (although I just thought them to be 'Blue' of-late, but I want it to be seen as aesthetically pleasing. Omfg! I love this line from 'The Ugly Truth') Well I used to be a cartoon freak, just like all the kids in my school, just like all the regular 1o year olds, and one of my favorites was 'Swat Kats'. I mean T-Bone and Razor and 'Commander' just blew my head off, till the time when Cartoon Network fucked everything up by turning 'Hindi'. And it sucked to lissen to 'Bade Meow' and 'Chote Meow', I mean how could I digest that kinda stupid shit! They just ruined my childhood by turning CN into a Hindi kids channel! ftw! MotherFuckers! All of them! (I know this is common for most of the guys reading this article too! :D Hell yeah!)
But that aint the point, I was 10 or 11 when I watched this show, and very surprisingly, apart from their 'jet' and their uber personalities, the other thing that kept me glued was their insanely out of the world theme music. I mean I could not miss those 30 seconds of their theme music, I mean something Tingled, like people have butterflies when they see that chic in skool, or mebbe the feeling when you have had too much to eat, or the feeling when you are standing at the principal's office and its dead silent. The same feeling that had suspense and thrill and sheer exhilaration, I got butterflies listening to a modified version of Black Sabbath's 'Children of the Grave'. A lot sassier than the original track, but it did the job.
There is one embarrassing confession to make, I used to be a hardcore Hindi movie fan, it may not seem 'cool' for many of you, but that is just the fact, so better digest it or I'll make it digest for you :X. And very surprisingly, even Hindi movies back then had Metal songs in it! I know, I know, you probably dont believe me. But check out this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6NP2dAj5ZM&feature=fvw. This is from the 1990 Aamir Khan starrer, Dil. Yeah, That's Iron Maiden's 'Aces High'. Imagine that shit! Very surprisingly, other than the fact that this movie is uber hilarious and I haven't seen this movie in the past 15 years, the only memory of this movie for me was that 10 second part of the movie! Please dont confuse this scenario, I didn't even know there was any other kind of music other than bollywood music back then. :) I was cute, I was young, I was naive and I had 'Hair' on my head. :|
Now you can probably see that 'it' was already in me, the recognition of the tritone, the metal attributes and the choice in music slowly evolved over time, but the principles still remain the same! Metalhead for life! \m/
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Obscurity..
I've gotten a little serious with my last post and its time I let a little steam out the ass eh? :P
Am back to thinking straight now after a long time, I have always been fickle minded and I can get distracted from anything by the drop of a pin. No I wasn't uber energetic as a kid, I was the most silent kid there could be.
But now there is this dilemma in my mind, how really can we guys use the immense vastness of the internet to our advantage. I have been pondering for a long time on what to do if I move back to India, I wont have any money, no friends anymore, no place to stay; but very weirdly those facts didn't scare me. The thing that scared me the most was that I would not be able to use the Internet and log on to facebook like I usually do, and get in touch with the 'group'. By group I strictly refer to the people I like chatting with or like screwing their minds over the internet. (Bhatta!) Its become more essential than water and food for me, but I have to agree that it does nothing constructive for me. I mean yeah I can keep in touch with my friends back in India, but apart from that I have never used the Internet to my advantage other than a few google searches about things I may not know.
This is the list of sites I have come up with that you can use for any kind of mood :
1. http://jdsmanstories.net/
What's the last time you saw a movie from the 'American Pie' series. Ever wondered, if it was all real? Well this site is your one stop shop for the hilarious of the 'all over the world sex stories'. And the best part is, though the articles are published only by guys, even girls can read this and have the best laugh ever! I mean I found this site one night and I just couldn't stop reading! You in the mood to laugh, go ahead and make your browser a little use
2.http://www.wikipedia.org/
You don't need an introduction to this site. Everyone has used this site one time or the other. Its the fastest growing site on the internet. Though 65% of all the contents posted are never read, but it only shows you the magnitude of content it holds. Its a good site to just sit and read too. Plus it has the section where they show you the daily global news, Keeps all of us up to date.
3.http://www.urbandictionary.com/
Ever thought, 'omfg! I am not understanding half the things he's writing.' *Bangs his head to the desk* Well, this is your way out. I mean i can think of a time when i searched everywhere for the meaning of 'Kvlt', but in the end this site came to my rescue. Want your lingo to be with the times? Don't want yourself to be ridiculed as the 'Grandma' of ur times? Try this.
4. http://www.youtube.com/user/kevjumba?blend=1&ob=4
Well, you have got my first link for a few laughs, but that requires patient reading. I know atleast 90% of all my friends would rather listen to music and watch some boring TV show than read. So, this is my gift to you fuckers! Help yourself. Kevin's a friend and he has been sharing all his thoughts about everything on youtube for the past 4 years! Plus his father roxx! "Suck on noodles" :D :P
5. www.facebook.com
You dont need an intro to this, and if you do, please close this blog immediately you schmuck! :|
Well, that's just my compilation. Please note that these are just some of the sites I visit daily. Sites like southcast and Podcast I have not mentioned. I enjoy my time with this. I hope I helped you some way. If I did not, FUCK YOU!
P.S. I need a GirlFriend! :|
Am back to thinking straight now after a long time, I have always been fickle minded and I can get distracted from anything by the drop of a pin. No I wasn't uber energetic as a kid, I was the most silent kid there could be.
But now there is this dilemma in my mind, how really can we guys use the immense vastness of the internet to our advantage. I have been pondering for a long time on what to do if I move back to India, I wont have any money, no friends anymore, no place to stay; but very weirdly those facts didn't scare me. The thing that scared me the most was that I would not be able to use the Internet and log on to facebook like I usually do, and get in touch with the 'group'. By group I strictly refer to the people I like chatting with or like screwing their minds over the internet. (Bhatta!) Its become more essential than water and food for me, but I have to agree that it does nothing constructive for me. I mean yeah I can keep in touch with my friends back in India, but apart from that I have never used the Internet to my advantage other than a few google searches about things I may not know.
This is the list of sites I have come up with that you can use for any kind of mood :
1. http://jdsmanstories.net/
What's the last time you saw a movie from the 'American Pie' series. Ever wondered, if it was all real? Well this site is your one stop shop for the hilarious of the 'all over the world sex stories'. And the best part is, though the articles are published only by guys, even girls can read this and have the best laugh ever! I mean I found this site one night and I just couldn't stop reading! You in the mood to laugh, go ahead and make your browser a little use
2.http://www.wikipedia.org/
You don't need an introduction to this site. Everyone has used this site one time or the other. Its the fastest growing site on the internet. Though 65% of all the contents posted are never read, but it only shows you the magnitude of content it holds. Its a good site to just sit and read too. Plus it has the section where they show you the daily global news, Keeps all of us up to date.
3.http://www.urbandictionary.com/
Ever thought, 'omfg! I am not understanding half the things he's writing.' *Bangs his head to the desk* Well, this is your way out. I mean i can think of a time when i searched everywhere for the meaning of 'Kvlt', but in the end this site came to my rescue. Want your lingo to be with the times? Don't want yourself to be ridiculed as the 'Grandma' of ur times? Try this.
4. http://www.youtube.com/user/kevjumba?blend=1&ob=4
Well, you have got my first link for a few laughs, but that requires patient reading. I know atleast 90% of all my friends would rather listen to music and watch some boring TV show than read. So, this is my gift to you fuckers! Help yourself. Kevin's a friend and he has been sharing all his thoughts about everything on youtube for the past 4 years! Plus his father roxx! "Suck on noodles" :D :P
5. www.facebook.com
You dont need an intro to this, and if you do, please close this blog immediately you schmuck! :|
Well, that's just my compilation. Please note that these are just some of the sites I visit daily. Sites like southcast and Podcast I have not mentioned. I enjoy my time with this. I hope I helped you some way. If I did not, FUCK YOU!
P.S. I need a GirlFriend! :|
Friday, September 3, 2010
What is?
Before you start to read this, I would like you to know, that I meant no harm against anyone and that these views are solely mine and mine alone. I don't want anyone to be influences by what I write, but at least give it a thought.
Hey guys, sorry for the delay, but I have been through a lot recently, and it is only fair to write it all out. Some people remove their frustration by being aggressive, some listen to good music, some eat, some starve, some die with pent up emotions, all I do is try to give a piece of me to the world so that they know my mistakes and don't do the same.
I had been to India recently, and I realized how hollow our system of family and moral values that we have been taught since the early years is. I mean what's the last time that you can think of where you were allowed to take your own decision and not follow what someone else told you. When was the last time that we did not have the 'Herd' mentality. How robotic are we really? I mean even a beggar does more creative outputs to this world than we do. We are just slaves of humanity, or in other terms a government inside a government that we cal 'society'. Society includes everyone you know and all the other people you may not know too. I remember as a child I was always told to be a 'good boy', and if I did something that was wrong according to them, I would be told be like a person 'X' who I didn't even know, but still my parents found it appropriate to compare me with him. I am not him, 'PERIOD'.
Today, I dont know even one guy amongst my friends, who live 'their' life. Now you may ask, 'Why did I emphasize on 'their'?' But the answer is really simple, because we never live 'our' lives. We are never taught the actual meaning of 'life' in school are we, we are just told that it is a period of one's life that starts with birth and ends with death. There always is an ulterior motive behind all that we do. But then we are all homo sapiens, and its in our DNA to be selfish, I mean that is exactly what makes us 'human' after all.
What would happen if everyone realized that we are all living lives that has been bound on us, without asking our opinions without inquiring whether we are alright with others making our decisions. We just follow the norms that others have laid according to what they might think is right or wrong. Get a graduation, go abroad to get an MBA, get a high paying job, earn a lot of money, make your life, find a wife, get kids and die unfulfilled and alone in the end. Money, Sex, Fame are just the tip of the iceberg. Have we ever thought why isn't 'love' a part of anyone 'becoming successful' agenda? We are all just the same, no liberties, not allowed to use our brains, something that Pink Floyd showed excellently in their video of "Another Brick in the Wall".
I don't want to imply that all of us just start rebelling against society, and get caught by the cops, or start an NGO that helps humanity. I'm just implying that we just 'Live' our lives for a change, according to what we would want to do with it.
In the end, I would just say, I am making one of the most important decisions in my life right now, and I will not hold anyone responsible if I fail miserable and end up begging in life, at the same time I will not share my success with anyone either. Its mine to have, and I shall have it.
I am off to lead my life according to what my heart's saying, are you?
Hey guys, sorry for the delay, but I have been through a lot recently, and it is only fair to write it all out. Some people remove their frustration by being aggressive, some listen to good music, some eat, some starve, some die with pent up emotions, all I do is try to give a piece of me to the world so that they know my mistakes and don't do the same.
I had been to India recently, and I realized how hollow our system of family and moral values that we have been taught since the early years is. I mean what's the last time that you can think of where you were allowed to take your own decision and not follow what someone else told you. When was the last time that we did not have the 'Herd' mentality. How robotic are we really? I mean even a beggar does more creative outputs to this world than we do. We are just slaves of humanity, or in other terms a government inside a government that we cal 'society'. Society includes everyone you know and all the other people you may not know too. I remember as a child I was always told to be a 'good boy', and if I did something that was wrong according to them, I would be told be like a person 'X' who I didn't even know, but still my parents found it appropriate to compare me with him. I am not him, 'PERIOD'.
Today, I dont know even one guy amongst my friends, who live 'their' life. Now you may ask, 'Why did I emphasize on 'their'?' But the answer is really simple, because we never live 'our' lives. We are never taught the actual meaning of 'life' in school are we, we are just told that it is a period of one's life that starts with birth and ends with death. There always is an ulterior motive behind all that we do. But then we are all homo sapiens, and its in our DNA to be selfish, I mean that is exactly what makes us 'human' after all.
What would happen if everyone realized that we are all living lives that has been bound on us, without asking our opinions without inquiring whether we are alright with others making our decisions. We just follow the norms that others have laid according to what they might think is right or wrong. Get a graduation, go abroad to get an MBA, get a high paying job, earn a lot of money, make your life, find a wife, get kids and die unfulfilled and alone in the end. Money, Sex, Fame are just the tip of the iceberg. Have we ever thought why isn't 'love' a part of anyone 'becoming successful' agenda? We are all just the same, no liberties, not allowed to use our brains, something that Pink Floyd showed excellently in their video of "Another Brick in the Wall".
I don't want to imply that all of us just start rebelling against society, and get caught by the cops, or start an NGO that helps humanity. I'm just implying that we just 'Live' our lives for a change, according to what we would want to do with it.
In the end, I would just say, I am making one of the most important decisions in my life right now, and I will not hold anyone responsible if I fail miserable and end up begging in life, at the same time I will not share my success with anyone either. Its mine to have, and I shall have it.
I am off to lead my life according to what my heart's saying, are you?
Friday, August 13, 2010
'The' last 72 hours!
I have done it all people! Missed a flight, got high, tried to beat up a dude, almost missed my actual flight, got into a threesome(but the chics abandoned at the last moment). It rocks to be back in India, I had been there for like 10 hours and it fucking rocked! :)
How can someone define a thing called adrenaline. I got so high on that, I almost died of a stroke! Naah, it aint right to over exaggerate, but seriously, I haven't been sober for like the last 72 hours!
I have been high on weird shit and normal shit, but it all feels the same in the end eh?
But the party that I am in right now rocks too, it can be compared! We have Indians in the party that don't know hindi and Indians here that know just hindi. Imagine their conversation! "Tu madarchod randi ke aulad", "yeah same to you sister fucker"! :D :P
And then we have Russians who think they are the greatest! They have formed their own forum and want to just speak in russian. Its like two malyalis talking to each other dude! Even if they dont know the dialect, they fucking try to make sense of each other, just to make the others realize that they are from the same fucking place!
Then there are those pretty chics in the party! They dont talk to anyone, they are as shy as I am with people. I mean c'mon, I just stared at your face for the past 10 minutes without staring at ur boobies, come talk to me already! I probably respect you for wat you are with your clothes on eh?
This just sums it up fuckers! I have been stones, almost dead, drunk, thrown out, snorlax, and all of this shit in the past 72 hours and am still alive!
Beat that shit! :)
How can someone define a thing called adrenaline. I got so high on that, I almost died of a stroke! Naah, it aint right to over exaggerate, but seriously, I haven't been sober for like the last 72 hours!
I have been high on weird shit and normal shit, but it all feels the same in the end eh?
But the party that I am in right now rocks too, it can be compared! We have Indians in the party that don't know hindi and Indians here that know just hindi. Imagine their conversation! "Tu madarchod randi ke aulad", "yeah same to you sister fucker"! :D :P
And then we have Russians who think they are the greatest! They have formed their own forum and want to just speak in russian. Its like two malyalis talking to each other dude! Even if they dont know the dialect, they fucking try to make sense of each other, just to make the others realize that they are from the same fucking place!
Then there are those pretty chics in the party! They dont talk to anyone, they are as shy as I am with people. I mean c'mon, I just stared at your face for the past 10 minutes without staring at ur boobies, come talk to me already! I probably respect you for wat you are with your clothes on eh?
This just sums it up fuckers! I have been stones, almost dead, drunk, thrown out, snorlax, and all of this shit in the past 72 hours and am still alive!
Beat that shit! :)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The talks during drinks!
How often do we all sit down for drinks and get nostalgic and over zealous of our things and things we might have done in the past. Its nothing but fair to be this way right? Its because all of us know that being 'high' brings out nothing but the truth out off us. In my terms, "Alcohol makes us all its bitch".
We guys especially drift from topic to topic just so that each and everyone in the room (especially with guys) can prove their self worth and prejudice. But that's the fun! Some constructive arguments some not so constructive, some over argumentative shit, some uber boring topics and finally some topics that the whole gang can discuss and contribute towards! (especially cricket, but metal wid all my folks!)
Then come the composition of all the topics, only after the fucking topic ends do we realize who knows what? Like in every healthy discussion will we all realize that there was one person who knows it all, and we are actually quite proud of that fucker in the end, but only later after sufficient research and argumentative thinking do we realize that 90% of the fact that he might have raised was utter bull crap and he had just been taking all of us for a ride all this while. But this person in question is full of self belief and can carry out his false talks and bull shit facts with utter ease and satisfaction to the others. In fact, this guy can be so convincing that he can convince even the most intelligent person that his facts can be wrong. These people are uber cool when it comes to relationships with people and communicative skills. They are also very loud with their arguments and don't respect the views of others in the vicinity Most of their talks are harmless and bull shit but when they say that 'facts state that', beware; there is a 99% chance that what he/she is going to state after that is total bull shit!
Then there are also the submersive fucks in every conversation. Frankly, I have not many people of this kind. All my friends are uber aggressive and highly knowledgeable. But traits of these motherfuckers can be one of the following:
1. Loners
2. Stupid fucks
3. Metalheads who think Scorpions are the 'founders' of heavymetal
4. Metalheads who cant contribute shit to a metal history conversation.
5. Virgins
6. Chics who think listening to LP is cool!
7. Guys who think listening to LP is cool!
Then also, there are the people who contribute to the conversation but are not uber aggressive at doing so. These guys are the actual 'Intelligent' people of the crowd , who only open their mouth when they know the shit that their talking about. They are not outright aggressive on their argumentative skills, but quite to the contrary, they are uber straight forward and blunt in their approach. They can be characterized by the following traits:
1. Nerdy and scholarly attributes in school.
2. Can never score a chic and are difficult with ppl
3. Guys who are uber social and score chics in a jiffy/ were scholars is school but no more due to their habits.
4. Chics who hang around guys who are extremely knowledgeable about metal or related subject matter.
5. Guys who are working for more than 5 years in an organization, these guys are also a class of nerds, but they have so much pent up anger in them that it eventually comes out in just spurts, coz they dont have the balls to show the anger in front of other aggressive guys. :)
Then again, there are the know it all. These guys know everything on one single topic or a band and know nothing else about any other topic. these guys are usually very very very aggressive about what they speak and their only motive is to ridicule the others who think who know what they are talking about( Class 1; check above). These guys are usually very good in their behavior and are seldom accompanied by chics, unless they grow a huge beard or keep huge hair or are bald or have lots of tattoos and piercings or all of the above. These guys are attention seekers who copy the actually cool people but can never be like them.
Then finally are the guys who are the creme de la creme. These guys can be characterized by the following:
1. Uber bad looking i.e fat bald but still sharp features
2. Good looking in a queer manner; they all had dismal childhoods (may or may not be abuse)
3. Most of these kinds of people are mildly or very rich
4. Things that these guys do are just to please themselves and anger the society or just the people around. But people think these guys are uber wannabes and ridicule them. These are the actual people that the guys of the class above copy.
5. Most of these guys are gonna end up as wastes and drunkards in life and they know that too, but they really dont give a fuck about all that. they just want to enjoy life.
6. Some guys in this class, have already realized the importance of money in the world. So, they have put their enjoyment on hold are busy earning money. Most of this class of people are hard to reach, and are generally away from their home nation.
This by the way, is just an observation of all the parties and drinking conversations that I have had in my life. The size and the looks of the guys can vary, but the mentality and the ideals of the guys remains the same.
You find real similarity to some of your friends right? Well, that was the idea in the first place!
Chip in if you can with your contributions. :D :)
We guys especially drift from topic to topic just so that each and everyone in the room (especially with guys) can prove their self worth and prejudice. But that's the fun! Some constructive arguments some not so constructive, some over argumentative shit, some uber boring topics and finally some topics that the whole gang can discuss and contribute towards! (especially cricket, but metal wid all my folks!)
Then come the composition of all the topics, only after the fucking topic ends do we realize who knows what? Like in every healthy discussion will we all realize that there was one person who knows it all, and we are actually quite proud of that fucker in the end, but only later after sufficient research and argumentative thinking do we realize that 90% of the fact that he might have raised was utter bull crap and he had just been taking all of us for a ride all this while. But this person in question is full of self belief and can carry out his false talks and bull shit facts with utter ease and satisfaction to the others. In fact, this guy can be so convincing that he can convince even the most intelligent person that his facts can be wrong. These people are uber cool when it comes to relationships with people and communicative skills. They are also very loud with their arguments and don't respect the views of others in the vicinity Most of their talks are harmless and bull shit but when they say that 'facts state that', beware; there is a 99% chance that what he/she is going to state after that is total bull shit!
Then there are also the submersive fucks in every conversation. Frankly, I have not many people of this kind. All my friends are uber aggressive and highly knowledgeable. But traits of these motherfuckers can be one of the following:
1. Loners
2. Stupid fucks
3. Metalheads who think Scorpions are the 'founders' of heavymetal
4. Metalheads who cant contribute shit to a metal history conversation.
5. Virgins
6. Chics who think listening to LP is cool!
7. Guys who think listening to LP is cool!
Then also, there are the people who contribute to the conversation but are not uber aggressive at doing so. These guys are the actual 'Intelligent' people of the crowd , who only open their mouth when they know the shit that their talking about. They are not outright aggressive on their argumentative skills, but quite to the contrary, they are uber straight forward and blunt in their approach. They can be characterized by the following traits:
1. Nerdy and scholarly attributes in school.
2. Can never score a chic and are difficult with ppl
3. Guys who are uber social and score chics in a jiffy/ were scholars is school but no more due to their habits.
4. Chics who hang around guys who are extremely knowledgeable about metal or related subject matter.
5. Guys who are working for more than 5 years in an organization, these guys are also a class of nerds, but they have so much pent up anger in them that it eventually comes out in just spurts, coz they dont have the balls to show the anger in front of other aggressive guys. :)
Then again, there are the know it all. These guys know everything on one single topic or a band and know nothing else about any other topic. these guys are usually very very very aggressive about what they speak and their only motive is to ridicule the others who think who know what they are talking about( Class 1; check above). These guys are usually very good in their behavior and are seldom accompanied by chics, unless they grow a huge beard or keep huge hair or are bald or have lots of tattoos and piercings or all of the above. These guys are attention seekers who copy the actually cool people but can never be like them.
Then finally are the guys who are the creme de la creme. These guys can be characterized by the following:
1. Uber bad looking i.e fat bald but still sharp features
2. Good looking in a queer manner; they all had dismal childhoods (may or may not be abuse)
3. Most of these kinds of people are mildly or very rich
4. Things that these guys do are just to please themselves and anger the society or just the people around. But people think these guys are uber wannabes and ridicule them. These are the actual people that the guys of the class above copy.
5. Most of these guys are gonna end up as wastes and drunkards in life and they know that too, but they really dont give a fuck about all that. they just want to enjoy life.
6. Some guys in this class, have already realized the importance of money in the world. So, they have put their enjoyment on hold are busy earning money. Most of this class of people are hard to reach, and are generally away from their home nation.
This by the way, is just an observation of all the parties and drinking conversations that I have had in my life. The size and the looks of the guys can vary, but the mentality and the ideals of the guys remains the same.
You find real similarity to some of your friends right? Well, that was the idea in the first place!
Chip in if you can with your contributions. :D :)
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