Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Ideology of Fools

I had an argument with a friend today, he said that Anna Hazare is such a douche, and if the Indian Government started answering each and every Individuals demands', then the democracy stature would be of no use.

But I asked him one thing, isn't democracy supposed to be a singular threshold of letting every Indian irrespective of his caste, creed or religion be a contributing part of society.

It is some how happening, but the corruption that's lying underneath is crushing the whole existence of a 'middle class' man. I mean with all the different kinds of Government Formalities that derive from a simple household, arises the complex equation of numerous bribes and the influence and favors of the rich class.

The simple thing Anna is fighting is bringing back the 'Black Money' and 'Corruption', but Anna doesn't realize that both these goals are out of bounds for anyone. Black Money aint gonna come back since the Simple Interest that the Banks earn outta these accounts are humungous and they would never jeopardise their existence for a nation. And Corruption is a part and pacel of Indian Life.

How many people can say that they got admission into a college they liked coz of merit. There is almost everytime a bribe related to a 'perfect' story. Hence, till the time we stop encouraging this stupid attitude, we are going no where but DWN!

Like people say, it is easy to comment being a spectator, but since I have once been a part of a 'bribe' rink, I can very distinctly say that the system that is being followed right now is somewhere very flawed.

Lets take the Educational System for Instance. About a couple of years back when I was applying to college, I was given a seat in an Engineering College in the NRI quota, even though a quota like this never existed in our system. But I later realized that this NRI quota was a corrupt politicians way of selling the ST/SC reserved seats to the highest bidder for a lumpsome profit.

Till the time I realized all this, I was already attending the first day of college, and never got my folks to stop the proceedings. But now I realize my mistake and promise nothing like this would ever happen again, for the simple fact that if all of us are working hard, why give some greedy poiticians the fast way to comfort and social benefits.

Well @anandKamath, this is the same thing that I was answering your questions for.

A lot of things lie dormant on the Lokpal Bill, and even though I am not a part of the 'Indian Society' anymore, I DO CARE.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Airport Debacle..

I have a friend who got kicked out of the airport very recently. Wow, that is a very complete sentence in itself, and it has everything, fact,suspense and absurdity. Fact being, he actually did get kicked out, what a douche! Suspense is the fact that I didnot disclose the name and why this happened in the first place, he's still such a douche! And finally the absurdity because, who the fuck gets kicked out (not allowed to board) of an airport except a terrorist or a douche! ....Hence proved, Sami Shaikh is such a douche! Haha!

Getting back to civilization, weren't airports and aeroplanes invented to make our lives simpler? But all I associate with my flyer hours is extreme discomfort.

Discomforts can be the following :
1. Too many procedures.
2. Good looking Air-hostesses.
3. Climate/ weather.
4. Co-Passengers

1. Too Many Procedures

 Right from the part where you ahve to prove that you actually have a ticket to an airplane that leaves this airport, at the entrance; to the check-in to the final boarding, these tasks suck, especially at Indian airports. Sami got kicked out because he did not have an ECNR stamped on his passport ( he's still such a douche!). I mean why cant it be a simple procedure, why does everyone need to be petrified of the procedures? Sami (Yes! The Douche!) says it was so embarrassing for him to get denied to board the plane, I can totally sympathize, since I've been there once too, the same situation actually! And I must say, it truly was embarrassing since I was with my family and I was the only one not allowed to board. But I somehow tackled that experience with utmost poise and ease. (Read as, I was so fucking scared that I almost shit my pants.)

Then occassionally you meet the first timers who do not know shit about where to go for check-in, which gate to board from and how to fill those never ending forms!

I hate being 3 hours early to a flight, what a waste of valuable time!

2. Good Looking Airhostesses

Now everyone is wondering how can this ever be a discomfort! Well try flying with your father or your girlfriend/s once. You'll know what am talking about.

Well I happen to be a very cool passenger, the model flyer, I like talking it up to an airhostess in between flights, especially when it's a long flight. And this is the exact nature of mine that causes problems.

I leave the rest upto you to imagine.

3. Climate/ Weather

Omg! I hate those moments on the plane, the dives and sudden change in cabin pressure, fucks the shit out of most people, doesnot scare me much, I like the kick and the sudden rush of blood to the head.

Now you are wondering why is that if I am not scared, why the fuck would I hate it? There was this one time when I was on a flight where the cabin pressure dropped suddenly and all those masks came hanging out, I had this lady sitting beside me, I mean she was good looking n all, but when a lady sinks her nails into your hand when she clutches it and doesnot leave it for more that 20 minutes, it's the end of the world my friend. You can kiss your hard ass public image of a tough guy Godd-Bye! I mean Girl atleast ask me out first, before you start slandering my public image, so that atleast I can tag you as my girl-friend, and then everyone would understand. She started crying immediately as the fiasco started, and I started crying after 10 minutes with fucking pain! But tears nevertheless. :| :(

4. Co-passengers

Do i even need to elaborate this one? Imagine Farts, Odours, trying to search for gold in the nostrils, too nosy in other people's businesses, Farts, Odours, Fat people, Nuns, handicapped people and finally School Teachers.

I had a lot of piercings till a while back, and the worst part is when I got seated beside a Nun/ School Teacher. Pain! Its like they wanted to baptize me/ tutor me into the the good ways of Jesus/ Education. What a bust! :|

They would go on and on about how I should mend my ways, and I would be like if this bitch does not stop, I might just baptize her too, in my own 'holy' ways. *winks*

Well, these were just a summary of my experiences. Sami, I am compassionate, but dude! You got kicked out of a fucking airport! What a fucking Loser! :P

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


What in definition is confusing? For one it may be as clear as my friend Nikhil's brain; at the same time it can be as distasteful and confusing as that same friend's sense of humor. Bewilders me.

So, wat exactly does the word confusing mean? Yeah obviously its a first person word, that describes the fact that nothing is going into that small brain of yours, In India, we call them 'bouncers'. Like how my History teacher used to give me back is school. I just couldn't join a date to that singular event. In the exam hall during my History paper, the only date I could remember was my birthdate, and then I would fall into a slumber like trance, where for the next three hours (the duration of the paper), I would sit and evaluate the actions I had taken in life, and their consequences. In the end the History paper, would come out like an anecdote, containing more instances from 'My History', than what was actually asked for. And when the results came, I always wondered how I scored that less. You Think????

So, getting back to the point, what exactly is 'to confuse' or 'confusing'. Since the definition is not as defined as definitions are supposed to define, the definition has got lost the defiance of the definition that was defined. Boggled? Its just means that I have complicated a simple sentence to make it sound complex so that the feeble brained jerk offs find it difficult to understand.

So in definition, if someone did understand the above paragraph, can he expain me two things, how is he so smart? and What the Fuck did it mean!? Ok I'm confused!

Well, firstly, it means that one's definition of the thing that he finds confusing, would not or generally is not confusing to the other person.

Like my 12th grade Mathematics teacher for instance. Having that funny South Indian accent that he has, he would go about blabbering all the technical mumbo-jumbo, not realizing that he had lost my attention after roll call, I would gently gaze at he white receeding hair line and wonder, how can be nature so cruel to some people. And that is exactly what I still wonder, when I look at myself at the mirror.

I have so many friends who have watched the movie 'Inception' or 'Matrix' for that instance, and most of those dumb bastards didn't understand the underlying meaning, what an utter waste of 2 hours is what they said. I had one friend who would get ecstatic when there was a fight sequence, and then I later learnt that, those sequences were the only part of the movie that he made sense, coz very weirdly, he came out of the theatre and asked me what movie did we just watch for the past 2 hours!

So poeple, what we find simple can be perplexing and mind-boggling to some, like I still dont know how to tie a tie, I mean who wears a restrainer around his neck other than dogs and other pets! Please!

Peace out Pole Yaadi Mones! :D :P...Mallu abuses rock! \m/

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

'Vas Deferens'....(Read as vast difference, but totally Intended)

I was at a golf club downtown today, and I saw the rich motherfuckers jollying with their/family's money to glory. It was a pleasant feeling just seeing them, I don't know how actually doing it would feel. But someday, I will.

So, I came across this couple today, and they were interesting, the lady was dressed just to cover the vitals and she looked like she was almost 60, but the guy was barely out of his 20s, both of them Europeans. I thought to myself first, a weird mother son duo, since I've grown up in a surrounding where, women that old do not 'hang-out-' with guys that young. But, as they later reached out, and jubilantly embraced themselves first, and then kissed each other, I was very pleasantly taken aback.

I had only seen these kinda things in movies, but I had finally seen the professional 'buy-out' boyfriend. For the people unaware of what this is, I'll help you. These guys, with their charming looks, and their large dicks, and with what they do with them, lure rich widows/housewives/divorced women, who are craving for some 'action'. Its like a niche where, women get their pleasure(Which they have been deprived off), the guys get away with the riches as a favor. CLEVER!

And I was wondering, its such an entrepreneurial idea! Its like Insuring your 'asset' for like a million dollars! OMFG, I was truly impressed by that ideology. And I got secretly turned on, and I'm not ashamed to say that.

But Imagine this guys, you get all the riches, the cars, the clubs, the watches, the 500$ suits/boots; everything just for an hour of sex daily! What else can a guy hope for! Amazing right? But then I was bewildered, what happened to these guys after they became old? Did they go out for love, after getting bored of all the 'love-making', did they plan to stick around till the single lady's last days, so that he could inherit everything, or worse, did he end up dead and miserable for the rest of his life?

And, am still trying to come up with excuses for each and every scenario! :|

BooHoo! I dont mind being a 'boy-toy'! Find me a puppet master ftw!

Friday, February 18, 2011


There is a famous saying that says, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." But has it been proven that what the Romans do is the right thing to do in the first place? To the contrary, we see that the society and its conservationist norms are all an apt disguise to curb the innovative thinking minds.

The church came first, they tried imbibing the 'knowledge of god' into man, showing the right 'path' to redemption, but look where they are now. A bunch full of pedophiles running the house of god it seems. How can an institute that has a generation of lies and bigotry in its history be the sole proprietor to show people the path to 'heaven'. Its a sham, a disguise, a witch dressed as a librarian to read us out the 'Right and Wrong'. But look what happened to them now? The people started realizing the sham, burnt down churches, brought about the flurry of knowledge and technology, and it has become just another speck of sand in the humongous hourglass of time.

Then tried the Muslims, with its 5 generations of war stories and a manipulated compilation of lies, that they think is the 'Word of God'. A very fascinating survey says that almost 93% of all the wars till 2003 where because of Islam, and some Muslims' shady perception of 'Jihad'. How can someone or something that it is so holy not be clear about what is clean and dirty? Washing the bodies 5 times a day for 'prayers', but what about those hearts inside? If the Quran was truly a book of God, it would surely have said, that beauty lies not in the exteriors, but in the heart and hands that do good.

Conceptualizing and Visualizing all such 'barriers' that the human kind has witnessed in its 150,000 year history, is one thing; If something or Someone doesn't change according to the change around him, he shall get engulfed in a Mountain full of spits and curses. For We, the people with a mind, the people who can think and prosper on our own terms, we are 'the change', we are 'the time' and blessed are we in what we truly do, for we know it is s little for the present, and all for the future.

We maybe in a small number compared to you people, the 'God' believers. But we believe in the superior being; and now it tells us that we shall stand and make all these religions spreading filth in the name of god; be gone, PERISH!


P.S. If I did hurt any religious sentiments, I'm glad, because the truth always hurts.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Contradiction and Over Sensualizing

I saw a russian girl in a club today, we talked, she bought me a drink, but nothing else happened. That is the summary of my valentine's day. So how exactly is a person like me, who's already in somewhat a 'complex' relationship supposed to behave?

A lot of people misconceptualize the idea of this so called 'Day of Love'. It was always a gimmick, planned by the greeting card companies to increase revenue and give them a little lease, to the technological advances and the different ways of celebrating love, that this new generation (us) has brought about.

But to my last knowledge, it is shit, how can someone who's genuinely in love with a girl, just compartmentalize himself so much so that, this is the only day, that he wants to show his 'love'.

I met a lot of couples, being in open relationships, but every relationship always starts and ends with a girl, unless the guy's a playboy. Like the age old saying for women goes, "I have the Pussy, so I make the rules". Can we guys ever not think with our dicks. And btw,what are female casanovas called; I still haven't found a word for that.

Today I got betrayed by my girl, and it will probably take her a lot of time for her to gain that trust back again. At the same time, I've already forgiven her, but the basic fact that I can forgive her that easily, is what scares me to the limit.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The after effect!

I just saw the movie titled 'Dhobi Ghat', though its an inappropriate name for the movie, but it makes sense when you add the latter part of the title too; "Mumbai Dairies".

I must say, What a movie! I dares to say all the things that the director could not say in the movie. Its an Indie flick obviously, and not many people will like it, but I would not like to take away any credit from it. Its a fantabulous work of art, that can only be understood by people who have a little thinking capacity and a free mind.

But I am writing this blog only to pay heed to Aamir Khan's character 'Arun'. What an inch perfect depiction of a creative mind, please mind that although he's portrayed as an artist, it doesn't limit a creative mind to just paintings and related, it signifies everything that can happen with a mentality that questions the social policies of conservationism and hypocrisy.

His mind is so populated with things, that half the times, he doesn't realize what he's doing. Rationalizing things is just not his cup of tea. I feel connected to this character in a lot of aspects but at the same time I'm forced to differ. Like the fact when he realizes that 'the last video recording' from the girl, is because she commits suicide and is just a fair way to put it out to the family. But it can also signify that she ran away with another man who could take her away from all the pain that she was going through in this marriage of her, that she was forced into.

Although not many rational people will agree to my point after seeing the movie, but I have my points also.
 The very simple fact that the girls actions where shown as per 'Arun's' perspective, so only because he thought that she hanged herself, does not mean that she really did.

Arun, also contradicts his character and his mind when he states that he does not believe in relationships. The very fact that he built a relationship with a lady based on 3 video cassettes and a chain proves to you that he does believe in relationship. And its because of this attitude, that he comes up with he best works while he's tormented by the thoughts of a 'relationship'.

My views. You need not agree, but I really don't care!